Dear YOU,

This feeling is getting too much for me. Every time I see that brand, that model, that colour; I think of you. Your words still ring clearly in my head. Your touch, your scent, everything is still so vivid in my memory. I feel like I'm bordering on obsession but I swear I have never felt so happy just thinking about someone. Life has not been the same since then. I just long to hear your voice, just once, calling my name again. The tone in your voice that made everything OK; even if just for a moment.

With so many questions and problems in my life now, what I wouldn't give just to be in your arms. Releasing all these pent-up frustration and pain. To just let these tears flow freely in your warm, caring embrace.

How I wish life was less complicated. Maybe then, I'll be able to tell you how I really feel; face to face. And maybe, just maybe, in that less complicated and warped world, I would get a reply that would make me the most blessed person on Earth. Maybe even make my life less pathetic. Maybe if I were better in every way, shape & form. Maybe than you'd notice me. Maybe if I were more up to your standards/to your liking, I wouldn't be living this sad, pathetic, lonely life.

Why must I be tormented and haunted by such perfection that I shall never be able to call my own? Why must I remember thee? Why must I think? Why should I feel? Why should anyone love me? Why must I live? Why, why, why?

If only I could confess to you. If only you would talk to me. If only I was more "your type". If only you felt what I feel. If only you knew.

Lots of "if only"s, "why"s, "maybe"s, wishes, problems, pains and feelings. Sigh. I swear my head is gonna explode soon. But even than, just thinking of you makes me smile. You just seem to make me so happy and at ease. How I wish you were my best friend whom I could call upon at a moments notice just to talk and de-stress. Some sanity might just be all that I need right now in life. But I guess I'll just make do with what I have and just think of that day that placed a smile on my face.

p.s: I really like you(in case you still didn't get the hints.... that is if you even read this.)

* I fear I may be a commitmentphobic or even a philophobic at times... Maybe that's why I can't seem to find the right person and commit*